Get To Know The Show
The Ace & TJ Show Dictionary
Tuesday May 5th, 2009
Ace & TJ Reflux: A condition in which you hear something from the Ace & TJ leprechaun out in the real world that has a completely different meaning, usually invoking laughter. The most common example is hearing the phrase “playing the piano”.
Airbag: A guy who may be pretty nice looking, might be a nice guy, but when he turns around and you look at him, he’s got a big round belly and it’s like an airbag went off in his shirt.
“B”: A euphemism for a word that sounds like “witch”, but starts with a “b”.
Bacne: Acne on someone’s back.
Beeramid: A pyramid made out of empty beer cans, usually found in college dorm rooms.
Blockermore: A term to describe a woman who looks good from a distance, but not as good close up, as in “The other cheerleader with the pretty face was a blockermore”, meaning that she looked good from a “block or more” away.
Boobalicious: A girl who is well endowed up top (TJ pointed out that a guy could be boobalicious as well if he’s well endowed up top).
Boohonkus: Euphemism for butt.
Brick Excrement House: A cleaner version of the term Brick S***house, meaning well-built.
Butterface: A term to describe a woman whose body looks good, but her face doesn’t, as in “Unfortunately, the cheerleader was a real butterface”.
Chesticles: A euphemism for breasts.
Chocolicious: An attractive double-Hafrican-American.
Classically Trained Actor or Actress: Euphemism for a pornographic actor or actress.
Cougar: A middle-aged minx who likes to pounce on young men.
Crack-herrr: Plain Old Vanilla Face herrr who is…“like Sunday morning”...aka easy. Sometimes she has a drug problem as well.
Crawfishin’: Backing away from someone you’re not attracted to, usually in a bar, named for the crustacean (and Louisiana ingredient) that walks backwards. “When BreezeKat invited Guenn to eat some crawfish with him while the rest of the show was in Birmingham, Guenn started crawfishin’ while trying not to hurt Breeze’s feelings.”
Deliciously Candy-Coated: Overweight, fat, obese.
Devil’s Lettuce: This is slang for marijuana. TJ will usually mention that Guenn has no memory because of all the “Devils Lettuce” she’s smoked.
Devil’s Dandruff (aka Bolivian Marching Powder): This is slang for cocaine.
“Don’t call if you’ve killed somebody”: Their general rule when asking Radio Family members to call in to discuss various topics in an attempt to keep the topic light-hearted.
DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend, the least unattractive member in a group of friends (Not used too often because it’s a little meaner than “grenade” and includes the words “ugly” and “fat” in the description).
Duplex: In psychology, a system of interrelated, emotion-charged ideas, feelings, memories, and impulses that is usually repressed and that gives rise to abnormal or pathological behavior. Specifically, a duplex involves two people, one being the person who suffers from the duplex, and the other being the person who is also affected. For example, “Intern White Shadow’s ex-girlfriend claimed that he was a bad kisser, giving him a duplex.”
Fasion: Favorite Asian.
Fauxmosexual: A woman who acts like she’s into other women in order to get attention, even though it’s pretty obvious that she’s actually straight. Often results in kissing other women in bars for free drinks.
Flesh Bet: A term used to describe a bet between a couple in which the “winner” decides such things as whether to have relations, where to have relations, or how to have relations, with the “loser” of the bet.
Frenemy: A girl who is another girl’s friend, but only because if she revealed that she was her enemy, she would probably do something bad to her.
Full Pull: A term used at monster truck shows in which the tractors compete by pulling a heavy sled that shifts so that it offers progressively greater resistance as it is pulled.
Giggity: A catchphrase borrowed from Quagmire from “Family Guy” usually indicating perceived sexual situations or opportunities.
Grin Kids: Our charity that raises money throughout the year to take a group of children who are terminally ill or chronically disabled, along with their families, to DisneyWorld each year. Learn more at www.GrinKids.org.
Guenn-terruption: An interruption by Guenn.
Hafrican-American: A new term for biracial.
Herrr: Slang for slut or the “w” word.
Home Depot Hoochies (also Lowe’s Lizards, Target Tramps): Women who dress up a little more than normal when going to Home Depot and hit on the guys working there, possibly in hopes of making the sexy time, getting a discount, or both.
“I be concubinin’!”: A quote to a judge from a man who was having six babies with six different women, none of whom he intended to marry; it was later used as a slogan on a t-shirt, available through AceTJ.com.
“I did, man, myself!”: A quote from a drunken concert fan (and lead singer of the band Abscondererrrr, extra spit, free of charge) who claimed to have rushed the stage at Ozzfest and hugged Ozzy Osborne on stage. He was incredibly happy about his accomplishment and said that he has proof on tape! This quote is used from time to time to show excitement about doing something. For example, if asked if he remembered to brush his teeth or shower, the White Shadow might reply with glee and fresh breath, “I did, man, myself!”
“I have a thousand pennies”: A phrase used whenever someone says something that is totally irrelevant to the conversation taking place. Simply insert this phrase into the conversation and explain that you thought you were no longer talking about whatever the previous topic was. This is usually a conversational wet blanket, if not a conversation stopper.
Indopleasya: From where TJ hails.
Intern Riggins: Intern Brian looks like the character Riggins from the television series “Friday Night Lights”, so the name stuck.
Jodi: TJ’s wife.
Jorts: A term used quite often that refers to cutoffs or simply “Jean shORTS”.
Kent: Guenn’s boyfriend. He was the “Dreamy Sales Guy” that asked Guenn out on the radio in June of 2008. He’s no longer with the ‘Mothership’ radio station, but works at a bar in Uptown Charlotte.
Lassie: Another euphemism for a “B”.
“Leave it to Cleavage”: Usually refers to an ample-bosomed woman going commando beneath her blouse.
Leprechaun: Used in place of “lexicon”, as in “Let’s put that word into our leprechaun to use all the time” or “We need to just take that phrase out of our leprechaun” – both of which are intentionally said so as to allow those listeners who are either not too bright or sarcastically-challenged to call the show.
Lesbeterian: A euphemism for lesbian.
Man Crush: A desire of one man for another, usually a celebrity, but not in a sexual way (unless the other man is up for it).
Man Card: An imaginary “card” that men are asked to turn in if they do something feminine or not manly. Other variations of the card include Woman, Yankee, Southern, Straight (Hetero), etc.
Manitalia: Male genitalia.
Manscape: To trim hair, especially on a hairy man and/or his private area.
Mattress Actress: Euphemism for a female pornographic actress.
Mothership Market: The city from which The Ace & TJ Show is broadcast.
Muffin Top: When a person’s stomach overlaps their belt area and they wear short shirts, causing the area to look like a muffin.
Mullet: There are several variations of this term for a hair style popular in the 70s and 80s that is short on top and long in the back, AKA The Kentucky Waterfall, The Achy Breaky Hair, and The Ape Drape, also described as “Business in the front, Party in the back”, such as the following:
Skullet: Mullet on a bald man.
Mulletino: Mullet on a Filipino.
Mullatino: Mullet on a Latino.
Meximullet: Mullet on a Mexican.
Femullet: Mullet on a woman.
Calcullet: Mullet on an Indian.
Granmullet: Mullet on a grandfather.
Mulletov Cocktail: An explosive device that’s made with a lock of hair from a redneck.
Musical A.D.D.: A distracting condition that is brought on by someone uttering a phrase that is also from a song, triggering a “song headache” and causing the victim to miss part or all of the remainder of the conversation.
Naughty: The only correct answer when a female callers claiming to be a nurse is asked, “What kinda nurse are you?”
Nether Regions: Code for a man or woman’s private or “non-public” areas located south of the border.
Nice shelf (aka top shelf): A euphemism for an ample bosomed chest on a woman. Usually comes before or after a question of what kind of a wagon she’s pulling behind her.
Ornpay: What the Pig Latin’s called “porn”, so their wives wouldn’t know what they were talking about.
“Page (blank)”: Whenever a random phrase is uttered, someone (usually TJ) will repeat the phrase, followed by a random number, implying that it is some sexual act that’s a part of the Kama Sutra.
Pete’s Poetry Moment: Yankee Pete will read the lyrics to some of rap/hip-hop’s greatest songs…in a more poetic way.
Picasso: “She looks fine from afar, but the closer you get the more messed up and fangled it is.” Another word for a blockermore.
Pipes: A DJ term for vocal cords.
Playing The Piano: A code phrase used for making the relations, so that parents don’t have to answer questions or have “the talk” with younger children. Other euphemisms include:
Sexy time, making the sexy time, making the touch (from the movie Borat);
Making the beast with two backs (from Shakespeare’s Othello) – able to be changed to fit the situation, such as “making the beast with two wrinkled backs” to describe playing the piano in a nursing home or “making the beast with two hairy backs” to described caged heat in a Turkish prison);
Bump Drafting (from NASCAR);
Handlin’ Bidness (from the very early days of The Ace & TJ Show)
Pornado: A sudden barrage of multiple screens or windows of “ornpay” caused by clicking on certain websites.
Prostitot: Little girls that are allowed to dress up like prostitutes.
Radio Bittage: A term used to describe anything done on the radio – a funny voice, an entire skit, a stunt, a contest, a game, etc. Some examples of classic Ace & TJ radio bittage include: Make Pete Say Geez, 7 Calls Say it All, Blog Theatre, iPod Idol, Pete’s Poetry Moment, Ask Us Anything, Bet no one’s listening who..., and Guinness Book of Listeners
The Red House: A furniture store in High Point, NC, where “black people and white people buy furniture…and Expanic people too, and ALL people” because they like pumping furniture…into peoples’ homes.
Shonnette: Ace’s wife.
Simp: A “simulated pimp”, someone who wants to be a pimp, but just isn’t quite there yet.
Sinful womb: A reference to a woman who is pregnant but unmarried, specifically the place in which her lovechild resides.
Song Headache: A condition in which a song gets stuck in your head and you can’t get rid of it. The best way to get rid of a song headache is to give it to someone else by singing the song in their presence.
Sorostitute: Basically, a slutty girl in a college sorority who acts similar to a prostitute.
Stewart: Yankee Pete’s yellow lab that he purchased in July 2008.
Stripaerobicizer: A term used to describe an erotic aerobics instructor.
Store-Boughts: A euphemism for fake chesticles or implants.
Tessa: Yankee Pete’s younger girlfriend. She’s 9 years younger than Pete and from West Virginia. They met on the Misfits Road to American Idol in May of 2007.
“The Loin Igniter”: TJ.
“The Loin Extinguisher”: Ace.
“The Loin Exposer”: BreezeKat (especially on road trips with alcohol).
The Stupid News: A collection of the most bizarre, random, and stupid news headlines of the day, reported by Yankee Pete!
The Guenn-tertainment Report: A collection of celebrity and entertainment news of the day, reported by Guenn!
Toby: Ace’s family’s Peekapoo.
Tramp Stamp: Tattoo that a woman has, specifically on her lower back, to show that she’s “like Sunday morning”...aka “easy” (In Germany, a tramp stamp is referred to as “a$$ antlers”)
“Under the rock of obscurity”: Where most one-hit wonders can be found, especially on their birthdays and usually between two other obscure people or groups.
Vanilla Face: (Usually preceded by “Plain Old”), a non-offensive term for a Caucasian-American, Whitey, Honky, Cracker (not to be confused with crack-herrr).
Vila Satellite: One of the world’s first satellite systems, which is named for its creator, Bob Vila, before going on to host the home improvement show “This Old House”. Although somewhat antiquated, many broadcasters today will point out that a sporting event or interview is “brought to you Vila satellite.”
Wagon: A euphemism for a woman’s buttocks. Usually part of the following question from TJ, “So, what kinda wagon you draggin’?”
“Watcha sportin’ up top?”: Another way to find out with what size bosoms a woman, specifically a caller, is endowed. Answers may vary from the specific cup size to “ample bosomed”.
Whale Tail: When a girl leans over and you see her thong hanging out the top of her pants, that’s a “whale tail”.
White Shadow: As an intern, Steven was always right behind everyone, ready to pounce and do whatever was needed. He became known as “The White Shadow”. Sometimes he’s referred to as “Shadow Steven”.
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