The Stupid News with Yankee Pete
 

The "Guenn-tertainment" Report

WILLIAM BALFOUR HAS BEEN ARRESTED FOR THE MURDERS OF JENNIFER HUDSON'S MOTHER, BROTHER AND NEPHEW: 

JENNIFER HUDSON'S brother-in-law, WILLIAM BALFOUR, was arrested yesterday for the murders of Jennifer's mother, brother and nephew.

Sources say Chicago police didn't come up with any new evidence against Balfour . . . who is the estranged wife of Jennifer's sister Julia.  It was just a matter of putting everything they already had together.

-Balfour was booked on suspicion of the first-degree murders of Jennifer's mother, 57-year-old Darnell Donerson, her 29-year-old brother Jason Hudson and her 7-year-old nephew Julian King.  (--King was Julia Hudson's son, and Balfour's stepson.)

He has NOT been formally charged yet.  Sources say that could happen any time within the next week.

The bodies of Donerson and Hudson were found in the family home on Chicago's South Side on Friday, October 24th.  Julian King's body was found three days later in the backseat of Jason Hudson's Chevy Suburban about 10 miles away.

Here's what police THINK happened . . .

On the morning of the 24th, Julia Hudson went to her job as a school bus driver and found out that her paycheck had been taken because some car payments hadn't been made.  The car in question was in Balfour's possession.

Julia called Balfour, and they argued.  Shortly thereafter, Balfour went to the Hudson family home and shot through the front door, striking Jason Hudson.  Donerson was shot as she entered the living room.

Police believe that 7-year-old Julian King was taken from the home alive, but shot in the vehicle that his body was eventually found in.

Balfour has been locked up on a parole violation since the night of the murders.  He had previously served seven years for attempted murder and carjacking.

PLAXICO BURRESS WAS CHARGED WITH WEAPONS POSSESSION YESTERDAY: 

Idiotic New York Giants wide receiver PLAXICO BURRESS turned himself in to authorities yesterday, and was charged with two felony counts of second-degree possession of a weapon.  He was released on $100,000 bond.

Plaxico did not enter a plea . . . but his lawyer has been saying he'll plead NOT GUILTY.  He was ordered to return to court on March 31st.

As you must have heard by now, Plaxico shot himself in the right thigh Friday night at a Manhattan nightclub, while fumbling with a handgun he was concealing in his waistband.

Burress was with Giants linebacker ANTONIO PIERCE at the time.  It was originally reported that running back DERRICK WARD was there, too . . . but police aren't sure.  Ward himself denies he was at the club.

Here's a new detail released by prosecutors yesterday.  A witness at the club . . . (--which is called The Latin Quarter) . . . heard a popping sound, and then saw Burress' legs begin to shake. 

Then, the bloody pistol fell out of Burress' pant leg, and he said, "Take me to the hospital."

Meanwhile, Antonio Pierce IS being investigated.  There have been reports that he tried to hide the gun.  Pierce has hired an attorney to help him deal with this chaos, but he says he doesn't expect to be arrested or charged with anything.

(--Rumor has it that the NYPD is having a hard time getting a hold of Pierce, though.  He was reportedly supposed to show up at a precinct yesterday for questioning . . . and when he DIDN'T, the cops went looking for him, and couldn't find him.)

Police are also looking into whether the hospital Burress went to failed to properly report the incident.

Burress has an EXPIRED permit to carry a handgun in Florida.  He is NOT licensed to carry in New York State.

 

BACK ON TOUR:

Perezhilton.com says Britney Spears is 100% going on tour next year!

This will be the her first live dates since those House of Blues concerts that didn’t go so well a while back. Her last major tour - the Onyx Hotel - was a handful of years ago.

The Pussycat Dolls will be opening for Spears on the new tour. The first show is March 3rd in New Orleans and the last concert will be April 28th in Rosemont, IL.

BritBrit is also scheduled to perform two London, U.K. shows in June.

 

BOY GEORGE ADMITS THAT HE CHAINED THE NORWEGIAN MALE ESCORT . . . BUT HE SWEARS HE DID NOT BEAT THE NORWEGIAN MALE ESCORT: 

In case you were wondering, BOY GEORGE is still on trial in London for allegedly chaining and beating a Norwegian male escort he'd hired to do some nude modeling for him.

Yesterday, jurors heard a tape of Boy George's initial interview with police back in April of 2007. 

And in that interview, Boy George admits that he chained the man-ho, one Audun Carlsen to a wall in his bedroom.  But it was NOT to do Carlsen any harm . . . or to get all kinky against Carlsen's will.

Boy George told police he was suspicious that Carlsen was hacking into his computer to steal the pictures they were taking and use them on his own website.

He said,"I absolutely admit I had him in the handcuffs, so he wouldn't go anywhere while I checked the computer.  I certainly wasn't going to kill him, that's hardly going to do my career any good is it?"

George admitted that he DID strike Carlsen during a previous meeting . . . but he had Carlsen's PERMISSION.  He told police, "You can't spank anyone if they don't want you to."

As you may recall, Carlsen claims that Boy George and another man beat him before chaining him up . . . and that as he was trying to escape, Boy George was whipping him with a chain.

But on the tape played in court yesterday, Boy George denied all of that.  He said, "Those are serious handcuffs, there was no reason to beat him up when I'd put him in those.

"I was just so angry.  It wasn't about me doing anything, I just wanted to make sure he did not leave my house."

Meanwhile, a doctor who examined Carlsen after the alleged beating testified that Carlsen had multiple injuries, including a cut to his forearm and bruising to the back of his head and right arm.

He added, "[Carlsen's] face was swollen, especially around the eyelids, both eyelids.  The whole face was puffed."

(--There was some question whether or not the swelling and puffiness could have been the result of an allergic reaction to the GLITTER that Carlsen was wearing on his face for the photo shoot, but the doctor said no.)  (--True.)

RIGHT AGAIN:

The "National Enquirer" floated two rumors over the holiday weekend that both turned out to be true.  "CSI" minx MARG HELGENBERGER is indeed leaving her husband, Alan Rosenberg, after 19 years of marriage . . .

. . . And PARMINDER NAGRA of "ER" IS pregnant.  The father, as we heard, is a photographer named James Stenson.  They've been together for seven years, and are planning to get married . . . but they haven't set a date yet.

UN-LUCKY #4:

IVANA TRUMP is headed for her fourth divorce.  She says she and her Italian husband Rossano Rubicondi filed a legal separation agreement three months ago.  She's 59 . . . he's 36.  They got married back in April, after six years together.

Ivana says she kept the separation quiet all this time because she didn't want to ruin Rossano's chances as a contestant on the Italian version of "Survivor". 

 

DOESN’T SHE LOOK COOL?

Did you know that EVA LONGORIA is a closet smoker?  Check out this shot of her puffing away at some wedding in Puerto Rico over the weekend . . .

 

CHRISTMAS CARD:

Here's a fun family picture:  We've got NICOLAS CAGE . . . his 24-year-old wife ALICE KIM . . . his evil-looking goth son WESTON . . . and Weston's date, or girlfriend, or whatever she is. 

 

JOAQUIN PHOENIX:

Joaquin Phoenix recently announced to the world that he's giving up acting to concentrate on his music.  Let's hope his music career has NOTHING to do with hip-hop.  Check out this video of Joaquin TRYING to bust some rhymes by clicking here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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