The Stupid News with Yankee Pete
HERE ARE 20 REASONS WHY ALL YOU GUYS ARE STILL SINGLE
Friday September 25th, 2009
Guys . . . are you in your mid-to-late 30s, gainfully employed, and still hopelessly single?
Well, the people over at a website called Manolith.com have come up with 20 possible reasons to explain your inability to lock down a significant other. Check it out . . .
#1.) You're shallow: Nobody's perfect. If all you can see are her flaws, no one will ever be good enough.
#2.) You're too independent: Relationships take compromise. If you're not willing to give a little, you'll never snag yourself a woman.
#3.) You're afraid of commitment: And why wouldn't you be? Commitment inhibits your ability to take home random skanks, and that blows. All I'm saying is that your fear of commitment is probably one of the reasons you're still single.
#4.) You're a slob: In general, women don't go for unshaven guys who live in their own filth and wear the same smelly T-shirt every day.
#5.) You're a “tool”: This one's pretty broad. But let me ask you this: Do you wear spray-tan? Do you "pop" your collar? Is your profile picture on Facebook a shot of you flexing shirtless? If you answered "yes" to any of these, well, then you're a tool.
#6.) You're selfish: Sometimes you have to put the other person first in a relationship.
#7.) You're desperate: FACT: The best way to chase off a hot girl is to let her know you like her, and you'll do anything to make her happy.
#8.) You're the nice guy: But women like nice guys, right? WRONG. Nice guys get bumped to the "friend zone" because they come across as weak. But you've already learned that lesson, haven't you?
#9.) You're a control freak: A little compromise goes a long way. So lighten up.
#10.) You're too shy: If you want to get some action, then you have to man up and take a chance now and then. If you can't even do that, then why would anyone want to date you?
#11.) You're addicted to gaming: Nowadays, women actually DO play video games. And they don't mind guys who play them either. But if you're a gaming ADDICT . . . that's a different story.
#12.) You're broke: Women will tell you they don't care about money. And they DON'T . . . in their 20s. But once you've hit 30, you need a little dough. You just do.
#13.) Your friends suck: The logic is that if your friends suck, then deep down, you probably do too. And, honestly, it's true more often than it's not.
#14.) You're in love with yourself: Yes, we all know that YOU think you're great. The problem is that no one else does.
#15.) You're a workaholic: You're career and goal-oriented. Good for you. But you spend so much time at work that you don't have a social life.
#16.) You're a pervert: Do I really have to explain why this repels women? I didn't think so.
#17.) You're in love with your ex: Until you've moved on from the whore who broke your heart, no woman will ever get serious with you. And can you blame them?
#18.) You're boring: Sad but true. The worst part is that you probably don't even realize you're boring. Meanwhile, everyone else is all-too aware.
#19.) You're obnoxious: You interrupt people when they're talking. You make dumb jokes that aren't funny. You're loud and annoying. Sound familiar?
#20.) You're a liar: The bottom line is that in order to have a meaningful relationship, there needs to be trust. And if you're a liar, there will never be trust. (Manolith)
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